Sometimes being a headmaster feels like being a paramedic. I often don’t see the car crash, but I am quickly on the scene to deal with the trauma. During those times, I have had the privilege of putting my arm around people and trying (and sometimes failing) to make Christ’s love and grace evident. Boys are more apt than girls at making big messes—or at least one’s that can be seen more clearly by others. So, at these times I am often talking with mom and dads and sons about their problems. There is not a lot of time to do analysis during those heartrending moments. Afterward, however, I try to find time to be reflective and to ponder what I could have said or done differently—or how I could or my teachers could have helped parents see and deal with problems more effectively. During those times, some of the most fruitful reflection is considering how I can help parents see and deal with little things that could help them avoid big problems later.

I am not a poker player (I am not even good that good at UNO), but I have some knowledge of card lingo. In poker, they saw that many players have what is called a “tell”. It is some look of the eye, some tap of the finger, some inflection in the voice that gives away what that person has in their hand. Good poker players (ESPN now calls them “professionals”) study other player reactions thoroughly and discover their “tells”. Your sons have tells as well. These actions or reactions can give you a quick glimpse into their heart and show discerning parents some of the sins that they should be rooting out. I think that the biggest tell for most boys is how they treat their mothers.  (more…)